Monday, 9 January 2012

A Brief History

I made it. I survived. I feel as though I can breathe, as though I knew nothing but what it was to be drowned in years of dark water. When I was about seventeen years old, I thought it would be a good idea to start a blog. Consequentially, the inevitable series of events that followed were due to my own naivety. Little did I know that something so innocent could cause my life to spin completely out of control.

I became very popular, very quickly, not in the real world (much to my disappointment) but in the mystical realms of the Internet. I had almost four thousand friends on Facebook, thirty six thousand followers on Tumblr and over a thousand followers on Twitter, not to mention all of the other sites I was using, YouTube, IQONS, Flickr, Vimeo, Blogger, Last FM etc. I had so many subscribers, followers, friends, buddies, chums, pals I didn't know what to do. At one point I wised up and attempted to make some money, which I did, not a substantial amount but money none the less. This is probably the point everything started to go wrong.

Prior to committing virtual suicide, I was the unfortunate victim of an unimaginable amount of abuse, emotionally and physically, both online and offline. I received some really horrific emails, prank calls and anonymous messages. I was stalked. It was quite frightening how threatened people were by my success. I became increasingly ill. All of a sudden, I could hear a pin drop, my life flashed before my eyes, I felt as though my entire reality had been sucked into cyberspace.

I created a vast array of justifiable reasons for my sudden disappearance. I went on and on about ‘our society’ and ‘my generation’. I became dragged down by faux friendships and plagiarists. Fuelled not by a competitive nature but by my will to survive, gritting my teeth and bearing everything life insisted on throwing at me. I severed any ties binding me to anyone, everyone, without a thought for their health or well being. I suffered from seizures and heart ache. Asphyxia with eyes wide open. Tears with a mouth sewn shut.